I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
