dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Randomize