when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
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