Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
