reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
