He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
