Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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