why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
