you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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