Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
