So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
