who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize