Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(646): View more from New York

The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.

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(256): View more from Alabama

Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.

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(231): View more from Michigan

Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!

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(+41): View more from Switzerland

my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED

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(973): View more from New Jersey

Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.

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(517): View more from Michigan

And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.

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(707): View more from California

I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day

(408): View more from California

Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry

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(305): View more from Florida

The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.

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(806): View more from Texas

I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.

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