Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
