It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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