ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
