I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
