Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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