Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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