Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
sex in a hospital.. check
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Randomize
