dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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