My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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