I want to have your abortion
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
