sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
