lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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