We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
We're too hungover to prance.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
