Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
farters have to be the big spoon...
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
