i permit you to call me
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
