i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
