Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
