I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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