How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
He is an equal opportunity slut.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
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