so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Randomize
