Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
