I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
