She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize