I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Do you remember whose house we're in?
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
