Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
