sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Sorry about my life...
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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