I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
