The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
