Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize