Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
You smell like stripper and shame
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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