She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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