are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Randomize
