And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
