This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
