therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
