why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Never joke about your clitoris.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
