They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Randomize
