I accidentally had phone sex last night
nutella sex= disaster
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
