Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
