Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
