I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
