what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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