that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Randomize
