drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
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