how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
as a side note pls kill me
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
