Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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