You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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