No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
