dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
