Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
