ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
