Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
