it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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