the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
