For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
