it wasn't lemon gatorade
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
