i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
